Blond jokes

Subject: Blond jokes 4th March 2008, 7:55 pm

Two blonds sitting on the beach in San Diego,

1st blond: So which do you think is nearer the Moon or Florida?

2nd Blond: Duh, can you see Florida?

lol!

Guest

Er Hum watch it!!! sunny

Subject: Blond Jokes 24th May 2008, 6:12 pm

How do you drowned a blond?

Stick a scratch and sniff perfum lable to the bottom of a pool.

Subject: Re: Blond jokes 15th September 2008, 10:58 pm

Did you hear about the Blond who tried to commit suicide?

They found six bullet holes in a Mirror.!!!! Laughing

Subject: Desert Island 16th September 2008, 10:47 pm

A man, stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned guy and says, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the stunned man.
With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him.
Trembling the castaway replies, "Ten years."
She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.
He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too?"

Subject: Re: Blond jokes 18th September 2008, 12:47 am

There was this blonde driving home when a hail storm starts up. The car is badly dented so she takes it in to a bodyshop.
The repair man, upon seeing that she is a blonde, decides to have some fun with her.
He says: "Yeah, just blow into the tailpipe really hard and all the dents will come out."
So the blonde goes home and proceeds to blow really hard into the tailpipe.
Her blonde room mate comes home and asks: "What are you doing???" The other blonde replies: "I'm getting rid of the dents."
Her room mate says: "Well duh!
You have to roll up the windows first!"

Subject: Re: Blond jokes 18th September 2008, 12:48 am

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,

'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving

that you are blind - that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 180-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to you is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional
wrestler!

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell
that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and
declares, Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

Subject: Re: Blond jokes 18th September 2008, 12:50 am

A blonde pilot decided she wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter.
She went to the airport but the only helicopter available was a single seat helicopter.
The instructor figured it would be all right to let her go up alone since she was already a pilot for small planes and he could instruct her via radio.
So up the blonde went. She reached 1,000 feet and everything was going smoothly. She reached 2,000 feet. The blonde and the Instructor continued to talk via the radio.
Everything was going smoothly. At 3,000 feet the helicopter suddenly came down quickly, skimming the top of some trees and crashing into the woods.
The Instructor jumped in his jeep and rushed out to see if the blonde was okay. As he reached the edge of the woods, the blonde was walking out of the wreckage.

"What happened?" the Instructor asked, "All was going so well until you
reached 3,000 feet. What happened then?"

"Well," said the blonde, "The higher I went the colder it got, so I turned off the ceiling fan."

Guest

A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.

Officer: May i see your licence?

Lady: what does it look like?

Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.

The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.

The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'

Subject: Paint 23rd February 2010, 7:25 pm

A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde

jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her

husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a

couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves

for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.

He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a

pool of sweat... He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather

jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies

yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to

him that not all blond women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting

the house.

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies

that she was reading the directions on the paint can, and it said...

"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."

Guest

Two blonds walk into a building.

You'd have thought one of them would have seen it

Guest

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